Go ahead, make my day...

I was hanging out with a sick kid recently. This tends to happen in my line of work. By work I mean parenting. This was a lie-on-the-couch-with-a cough type of illness on a cold wintery day. Mum brings you toast. You have more than one bath. You’re allowed to stare at a screen all day. That kind of thing. But the more this child stayed home doing nothing, the more the outside world beckoned. Being an aspiring soccer player half-way through a sustained period of mastering a trick, this child requested my attendance at the park, to kick a ball around. Now, in my line of parenting, this is an easy no on a sick day. It’s cold outside. You have a cough. I have work to do. Have you ever watched Mary Poppins etc.

But as the day wore on, so too did the sick child’s sense of desperation to try the trick in the park. After some negotiation, concessions were made about the wearing of jumpers and the brevity of this part of the day’s schedule, but the answer still wasn’t yes. It was that old childhood favourite: maybe later. Finally, near the end of the day, I was approached again. ‘All I am asking of you’, said this small, wan urchin of a child, voice cracking, eyes giant pools of human emotion, ’All I am asking… is for you to make my day better. Better than terrible. A little bit good.’

In my line of parenting, this kind of plea gets points for passion and expression and before I knew it was pulling on my own jumper and heading out the door.

Public Service Announcement: better than terrible is an excellent result.

Being sick is terrible. If you’re sick right now, that really is terrible. So sorry to hear it. One thing that always happens to me when I get sick is that I promise myself I will never again take wellness for granted. Not instagram wellness with bath salts and yoga and a skin care regime. Just being a healthy person in the world. The expression ‘youth is wasted on the young’ could be extended to ‘wellness is wasted on the well’. Rarely do I find myself strutting about the place just basking in my own wellness. But we should! If you’re well, you’re better than terrible and you’re luckier than most.

If you’re not well, there are certain things that provide relief or distraction or entertainment or comfort. Enjoy them. Ask for them. They could be anything; people or chocolate or audiobooks. Ru Paul’s Drag Race or the smell of fresh cut flowers.

Also? You don’t always have to compare yourself to other people. Yes there are people having a worse time than you. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel what you’re feeling. Grumpy about being a bit grumpy? Annoyed at how frustrated you are by something? Meh. Go for a walk. Make a phone call to someone completely outside of the situation. Watch an episode of something that sucks you right out of your life and into an entire other universe. The only thing worse than feeling bad is feeling bad about it.

Same when you’re well of course. Could be a terrible day but the sky looks like someone has brushed the clouds with a hairbrush.

Whenever I go to the beach I think about big things and little things. The sky is big. The sea seems endless - it’s home to the largest mammals on earth for heaven’s sake. The beach stretches out each day, sweeping itself clean with the tides. Meanwhile, tiny crabs corkscrew into the sand. Midges ping like asterisks through the air. Fish dart. A sea anemone braces itself against an incoming wave. And it was all happening before you were thinking about it. It’s happening all the time. There’s something about that that makes my day a tiny bit better than terrible.

Ooh, also, speaking of small things and big things, did you know that scientists recently discovered ripples in space and time? Neiths! No idea what I was doing at the time. Apparently this means the universe is humming. Just all the time. Humming. Every single one of us lives in a universe that hums, which makes me think there are many things we haven’t figured out. Kind of comforting in a way. Better just enjoy the good bits. Find any excuse you can to make your day, or someone else’s, a tiny bit better than terrible. Maybe I recommend the watching of Mary Poppins.