Things I Noticed at my writing residency at a local school

• The deployment of the most dramatic phrases (‘slay’ for instance, or ‘I’m obsessed’) via the most deadpan tone available to humankind.

• Cool kids, who don’t want to say or do anything, are the ones you feel sorry for when you’re an adult.

• An incident where a child kicked a ball up a tree causing half a dozen other kids to spend most of their lunch break piffing objects up the tree in an attempt to dislodge it. For some reason, the fact that I could not hear any of this through the glass window made it all the more fascinating, poignant and hilarious. A lunchbox lid, a banana, and several drink bottles were deployed. Break-out groups were strategising. A girl from the other side of the playground was sent for (incredible aim, very good arm) and it was she who, with a drink bottle, dislodged the ball. Like a sporting hero, she was descended upon by her team of supporters who jumped in unison and raised the ball in celebration. The banana was eaten by the kid responsible for the ball being in the tree in the first place. The ball was abandoned.

• One kid, wry smile, always surrounded by friends, always leaning against a wall reading a book. Occasional interruptions to answer questions. Asymmetrical haircut. The question is not WHICH arts festival this child will one day be Artistic Director of, but how quickly it can happen.

• A little kid planting a garden of offcuts from surrounding bushes while another little kid ‘swept’ a path through it with a tree branch.

• A child lying on the oval - injured? tired? - being tended to by another child, leaning over in a parental posture of concerned enquiry.

• Drink taps. Never not broken.